All Tattoos Are Temporary

June 23rd, 2022

Like everything else in Eulora 1, the tips greeting newly connected players brought new life to an old form, generally turning common and stale anything on its head quite irreverently and with great effect. Since some of these tips still get quoted at times, I'm publishing my list of them here for vicarious enjoyment and, possibly, for easy reference as well:

  1. Welcome to Eulora! May your stay be preposterously prosperous.
  2. Do not think of yourself as an ugly human. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
  3. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  4. Better late than pregnant.
  5. You should probably do the laundry...
  6. Silence is golden, but duct tape is usually silver.
  7. Time flies like an arrow, but rotten fruit flies fly like flies.
  8. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have any film for it.
  9. Mr. Spirover maintains a positive attitude, even though he knows it won't work.
  10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
  11. You can't have everything - where would you put it?
  12. All things nobody else wants come to those that wait.
  13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  14. In Eulora, it does not matter who is right, but who is left.
  15. The best space shuttle is but a large pile of chairs for the head.
  16. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
  17. Fear not your own death - just try to not be there when it happens.
  18. Learning is not compulsory. Neither is survival.
  19. There are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something.
  20. Oh, the Vinu will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
  21. Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
  22. The first rule of tinkering is to save all the parts.
  23. Some are wise; others are otherwise.
  24. The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.
  25. When a NPC marries, it exchanges the attentions of many players for the neglect of one.
  26. The most you can hope for is ending up with the right regrets.
  27. Everyone started out with nothing. Plenty still have most of it.
  28. An unbreakable toy is still useful for breaking other toys...
  29. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  30. The best way to lose weight is to eat naught but inspirational posters.
  31. Old eggs are generally rotten; old hopes are generally delusions.
  32. To find out just how windy it is on the hill move there to escape the damp in the valley.
  33. If you fail to spend enough time laughing at stupid children, you will spend all your time going to war with stupid men.
  34. Your worst enemy has always slept in the same bed as you.
  35. The minnow aspiring to be a whale was stuck in a puddle that did not aspire to be an ocean.
  36. The best things in life are actually quite expensive.
  37. All tattoos are temporary.
  38. The secret of teamwork is that none of us is quite as dumb as all of us.
  39. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
  40. The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
  41. By the time you swear you're his, shivering and sighing; by the time he vows his passion is infinite, undying... better make a note of this: one of you is lying.
  42. A cynic is that unrepentant blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are not as they ought to be.
  43. The world keeps ending, but noobs keep showing up as if the fun just started.
  44. The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.
  45. The worst misfortune that may befal your enemy is a large following of true believers.
  46. Poverty is the sort of suspect virtue one can very readly teach oneself.
  47. Rejection of praise is sometimes humility and some other times holding out for better praise.
  48. It is comparatively easier to make heroic gestures than to abide by the results.
  49. When logic leads to any humiliating conclusion, the human reaction is to discredit logic.
  50. The strongest indication that you lost your way is to find a large majority in agreement with you.
  51. Out of the mouths of babes come bubbles.
  52. The best possible world is the one you can't live in.
  53. True democratic feeling is reserved for drunken men.
  54. If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.
  55. What will retrospectively be called will always finds a way.
  56. Most people love because they tried hating and found it requires too much effort.
  57. The very essence of romance is uncertainty.
  58. Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.
  59. Thread carefully when the nude offer to sell you shirts.
  60. Love at first sight is common; love at last sight is comparatively rare.
  61. Love cautiously, enjoy vicariously, dream reasonably, tread lightly and die quietly.
  62. The trouble with being poor is that it doesn't allow getting into any kind of trouble worth the mention.
  63. Gravitation is not responsible for your great tumble - after all it tried to prevent your climb every step of the way.