Young Hands
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Ossasepia



diana_coman: shrysr: eh, up in the sticks, nobody other than locals thinks canada is a developed country, lol
diana_coman: but funnily enough, with food like anything else, you *can* get fast+little effort + tasty except you need to start with 1. tasty ingredients 2. knowing how to cook
diana_coman: anyways...how did you end up in that precise hole of Canada, shrysr ?
diana_coman: on the bright side, as long as you use at least basic ingredients (rather than mass produced ready-shit), you can say you are at least eating food if a rather poor one (seriously, it sounds very much like some medieval winter-time dirt-poor peasant staple, lol)
shrysr: loll I have heard the same reaction from my mom ... peasant food. I felt oddly proud about it but it's not terribly pleasant for sure.
shrysr: okay.. the story you shall have: after my masters at Leeds Uni, UK. In mechanical engg, focused on computational fluid dynamics. Went back home to India and worked for ~3.5 years doing CFD, on the hydraulic design of centrifugal pumps. I made some storng contributions...but the cool projects would always bee done by the PhD's at HQ in Germany. I wanted in, and more.. .shifted to 2nd job in Application Engg
shrysr: (technical sales) for combustion equipment.. for 2 years. Here, again, the cool cats were at HQ in Tulsa, USA. I cdnt learn like i wanted to.. found the option to migrate to canada / australia
shrysr: Landed in Toronto... I was jobless for nearly a year. It was quite terrible. I hardly got interviews at all. CFD was too niche. Discovered 'data science', and found many parallels. Finally I got through to my current job. It's gonna be a year since I joined.
shrysr: I wrote to them every week for 4 months to get an interview.
shrysr: I recall dismissing machine learning when I finished my masters as something too utopian to be of value. My graduation degree was in automotive design engg by the way...
shrysr: If I could change anything, I would have opted for computer science.
shrysr: I can send you my resume if you like.
diana_coman: shrysr: you know, it might be precisely those parts that you are not so happy about that give you an edge though; and think of it: plenty who did computer science; doesn't get them anywhere further than diddling websites on top of a precarious tower of babel that crumbles each and every way any time you try to do something
diana_coman: in what sense did migrating seem "the option" though?
diana_coman: I mean: from everything else and at every juncture you say you were frustrated because you weren't working with the cool cats, which I can get totally; but migrating means precisely starting from the lowest of the low possible, about as far away as it can be from the "cool cats"
diana_coman: shrysr: and you know, do you have all this journaled on your blog so you (a later you, another "you") can look back at it in detail, maybe learn some more from it, maybe recognise something in it, who knows?
shrysr: hmm... there were many considerations behind migrating. One of which was better accessibility to great uni's, and perhaps studying further part time. Another consideration was I felt I was more aligned to what I perceived as western work ethics or style. THe idea was to get closer to HQ's or the heart of a company or closer to people who made decisions.
diana_coman: heh, distance is such a tricky thing to evaluate :D
shrysr: I don't have this published..... wc -l of my journal files only for 2019 comes to..... 142813
diana_coman: and what, it breaks the net or what?
shrysr: :)) it seems too personal to publish !
diana_coman: heh, I know it seems; but it's just that, it *seems*; there is no real downside in fact; anyway, you'll get to see what I mean, probably in not such a long time
diana_coman: shrysr: head over to http://younghands.club and tell me if you see the blog (so not just "it works") as the dns changes should have propagated by now
shrysr: diana_coman: I do see it... and I'm gonna do so henceforth. I'm working on setting up WP / LEMP on the VPS and porting things. I will publish a daily journal...
shrysr: diana_coman: just tried the url... forbidden + additional 403
diana_coman: meanwhile I'll set you up an author user there and you can either write there
diana_coman: shrysr: which url?
shrysr: http://younghands.club
diana_coman: hm, I'll look at it
diana_coman: shrysr: try now
shrysr: working!
diana_coman: good.
shrysr: i like it... and I am looking forward to this.
diana_coman: glad to hear it :) as you can tell, I'm just starting it and mainly because it seems needed; but among all the other stuff going around, I have lots planned for it to grow too
diana_coman: and anyway, you're in the best position there to be in at the very start, you know?
shrysr: yes. Coming here and connecting with you seems to have given me purpose and reduced the sense of loneliness. The #emacs channel is also filled will great guys.
diana_coman: shrysr: do you have a stable IP you connect from? I'm looking at the best options to give you login access on your user there but I'm not very happy about just leaving it accessible from anywhere
shrysr: I say loneliness, but its an acute sense of a lot of shit. BTW i got slide 30 right btw :D I'm not quite done reading it all, but I was pleasntly surprised to get it right, and felt like I could connect with the topic.
shrysr: diana_coman: how do you mean stable IP ?
diana_coman: heh, well done! I'd have been worried if you didn't, to be honest; for one thing I made the thing to be digestible without much requirements otherwise ; and for the other thing, you had the leisure to read it at your own pace!
diana_coman: shrysr: as in one that doesn't change every other day
shrysr: How do I find out? I basically connect to the wifi at my motel... and then at work, on a different network.
shrysr: and yes... i live in a motel... its been a year. lol.
diana_coman: probably the hard way aka monitoring it for a while if you never bothered before; but by the sounds of it, it's rather more likely it's not very stable; I'll think a bit.
diana_coman: is that your way of making sure you're motivated to spend a lot of time at work?
shrysr: diana_coman: hm..originally yes. and economically, its almost on par with getting a decent place to rent, with less work. I wasn't planning to stay long tbh
diana_coman: I can imagine that; the trouble with temporary solutions is that they tend to end up permanently-temporary, lol
shrysr: if it helps: I always connect to a same network at the motel. if IP's are assigned each time a computer connects - then - my personal laptop is connected to the same network 99% of the time.
diana_coman: well, it's a bit iffier than that and anyway, probably I'll need to figure out a solution for it anyway so might as well do it now
shrysr: have you worked with the UMAP library in R for dimension reduction of data sets ?
shrysr: https://cran.r-project.org/web/packages/umap/vignettes/umap.html
diana_coman: no, not really; I used R some....10 years ago, when I was messing about with "software engineering" "data" in academia
diana_coman: I did use it again when I got into eulora but the trouble with eulora so far is that there is too little data :))
shrysr: hmm UMAP is essentially an algorithm that performs dimension reduction
shrysr: and it appears the results are different on each computer !!
diana_coman: well yes, but it has some assumptions
diana_coman: ahahahaha
diana_coman: welcome to "tools that will help you!!!!"(pull your hair out)
diana_coman: or well, "usefulness" of what passes nowadays for a computer
shrysr: I've been looking at for a bit now... to help resolve a query posted in the forum.. lol a dive was long overdue.. but it is quite interesting
shrysr: bit as in since last night.
diana_coman: I hope you have planned to do a write-up of it, yes? :D
shrysr: absolutely. I also have a summary of what I covered on PGP
diana_coman: cool
shrysr: i got stuck mapping a sub domain name to the vps... and switching on cloudflare, and then this problem popped up. I want to directly post on the newwww blog lol
shrysr: not to mention, the guy who posted was told off by a new experienced member of the community that he was posting and tagging the course instructor too frequently....
shrysr: with my new found 'courage' being fired by exposure to ossasepia and the general rowdy spirit in IRC ... i had to compose a lengthy message ... to say i disagreed.
shrysr: I like it... it's actually like learning to talk again for me.
shrysr: in a different way atleast...
diana_coman: well, that's the thing with the vps and cloudflare and all the similar shit - you are actually tollerated while they can fleece something off of you (time at the very least)
diana_coman: but as soon as you actually try to do something you'll find soon enough that nope, you aren't wanted there anymore
shrysr: I thought ppl get married to make sure there's atleast somebody who would want something that you're willing to give :P . I like attention and admiration, but I hate wanting it, and cant help wanting it..
shrysr: well, i also don't want it many times, to be fair. I'm a quiet guy.
diana_coman: why do you hate wanting it?
shrysr: it feels like a dependency.... that I cannot control.
diana_coman: how is it a dependency though? a want is not a dependency
diana_coman: that you want it is a signal, nothing more; a signal to *you*; saying you can't control it is a bit like saying you can't control being hungry
diana_coman: do you hate that too now?
diana_coman: you are of course totally welcome to not like the fact that you don't receive as much as you'd want :D
diana_coman: but that's a different ...signal
shrysr: a dependency for feeling satisfied ? like i crave french fries and have the power to purchase it or feed my hunger. But I cant induce admiration and it doesnt seem a worthy target to induce. Why shd I want admiration? Why not live for the results alone?
diana_coman: that's bullshit; why should you want food too and sex too and why not live for nothing alone?
diana_coman: in crude words: don't cut off your own dick just because it's inconvenient to have one, at times
diana_coman: if it's any help I can directly tell you that it's *also* inconvenient to not have one, there.
diana_coman is looking if shrysr is still breathing or totally shocked.
shrysr: lmao
diana_coman: btw the above does *not* mean that it's fine to be a slave to this (or any other) need; just don't negate it because it is part of you; work with it and figure out its deeper roots.
shrysr: so you are saying wanting admiration is an essential part of being human, or *yourself* and there is no sense in bothering to hate it ?
shrysr: hmm
shrysr: ok
shrysr: that answers my question.
diana_coman: what you want most probably is *recognition*
diana_coman: sure, you enjoy more one form of it or another but so what
diana_coman: none of them are "wrong"
shrysr: i don;'t say it is wrong... but cutting off the need to receive recognition certainly feels more feasible than cutting off my dick, in general, and thus possibly reduce conflict or pain overall in the journey ?
diana_coman: this is a bit like the frog saying "jumping in this slightly warmer water certainly feels more feasible than jumping into the scalding water directly and thus possibly reduce conflict or pain overall in the journey" ; and the frog is right! it reduces conflict and pain overall in the journey to boiled frog!
shrysr: :D
diana_coman: basically you are not cutting off your dick, just shaving/trimming bits off, lol
shrysr: loll
diana_coman has yet to see a man who does *not* thoroughly enjoy admiration and adoration for that matter
shrysr: well women are no different are they ?
shrysr: how do you post that message thingy ? what is it called
diana_coman: shrysr: you might be surprised but they are
diana_coman: and note that here as above, this is statistically speaking and you should know what that means
diana_coman: in particular, it's not something you get to apply to ONE woman you see just because she's a woman (or to ONE man just because he's a man)
shrysr: statistically significant??? How would you really measure that? Simple yes or no to : do you like admiration and adoration ?
diana_coman: shrysr: what message thingy?
diana_coman: lol; first of all are you sure you can define the 2 as clearly disjunct? :D
shrysr: where you wrote about looking to see if i was breathing
diana_coman: ah you go /me blbla
shrysr: hehe nice
shrysr is a little confused as to 'which 2' is being meant? (admiration and adoration) ? (man and woman)?
diana_coman: admiration and adoration
diana_coman: shrysr: http://p.bvulpes.com/pastes/IYEfa/?raw=true
diana_coman: in the end I've opened it up to all IPs, since it's quite public after all so it'll have to put up with whatever the public throws at it
diana_coman: let me know if you have any trouble logging in or publishing stuff
diana_coman: and otherwise...publish
shrysr: yay i decrypted it
shrysr: that was terribly exciting.
shrysr: but where do i login
shrysr: diana_coman: ^
shrysr: diana_coman: are these chat logs public ? probably a little late to be asking
shrysr: i was also wondering - cant i decrypt that file, passing the url to gpg at the command line ? i copied it to a local text file.
shrysr: this link seemd to be down? http://www.btcalpha.com/wot/
asciilifeform: shrysr: that one is by a fella who disappears years ago. current lives in http://wot.deedbot.org/ .
shrysr: asciilifeform: thanks. THIs i stumbled on in my feverish clicking of links... I was looking at something akin to documentation, concepts and so on.
shrysr: i found a blog post on trilema for this.
shrysr: diana_coman: yes, i can define the two as disjunct, though I am not a PhD :
shrysr: http://edgecasesoftware.com/ : was this an old student of yours ?
asciilifeform: shrysr: see also http://btcbase.org/log-search?q=edgecase .
asciilifeform: initially eager fella, got drummed out as evident unteachable

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