#ossasepia Logs for 03 Sep 2019

April 20th, 2020
diana_coman: !o uptime [10:40]
ossabot: diana_coman: time since my last reconnect : 1d 16h 11m [10:40]
diana_coman: shrysr: http://younghands.club/2019/09/02/week-7-review/#comment-18 [10:43]
shrysr: diana_coman: yes i saw that today. it is just as well. I updated my user profile on younghands with my email last week - but still don't get any email notifications for comments? Wd be nice to have that to keep track. I guess RSS wd be better... what do you use for RSS btw? [17:07]
diana_coman: shrysr: you can actually use feedbot and it'll pm you for any rss feed you tell it to track for you [17:08]
diana_coman: just make sure you talk to it in pm not in chan [17:09]
shrysr: hmm.... that is interesting, and you have told me before iirc. my weechat / tmux / IRC setup is not yet streamlined enough - i.e it will be a pain to copy links to a browser each time.... too many contortions. [17:12]
diana_coman: shrysr: simply go /msg feedbot !1 help [17:12]
shrysr: i love nice manuals. [17:13]
BingoBoingo: shrysr: there is no smtpd on the server. The blog can't send emails. [17:14]
diana_coman: basically you simply tell feedbot for instance !1 subscribe http://younghands.club/comments/feed/ [17:14]
diana_coman: and then you'll get a pm from feedbot on irc each time there's a new comment on younghands.club [17:14]
diana_coman: quite handy as it's then logged by your client too anyway [17:14]
diana_coman: shrysr: you don't *need* to copy the links anyway; all you need is the notification i.e. to know that there is a new comment, no? [17:15]
shrysr: yes true. [17:15]
diana_coman: finding it on the blog is super easy as that's what the "recent comments" part is for [17:15]
diana_coman: all republican blogs have pretty standard rss urls i.e. domain/feed for posts and domain/comments/feed for comments and that's all you need [17:16]
diana_coman: that's what I use btw and it works great. [17:17]
shrysr: okay. I've subscribed and will explore the manual. [17:17]
diana_coman: shrysr: btw I remember there was this "task list 1st thing tom" :D [17:18]
diana_coman: how come it's Tuesday and you still haven't published that? [17:18]
shrysr: there was yes... i was sucked into finishing my salt mine ppt for today... (which i just delivered..) and then i had to make a bunch of mods after a review with my dad. there was no time... [17:22]
diana_coman: shrysr: that's what happened, sure; but it's not quite enough to state "what happened" so...go ahead. [17:24]
diana_coman: is listening to the rest that shrysr has to add to the above.x01 [17:24]
shrysr: ok --- was that sarcastic, as in - dont type anymore? [17:25]
diana_coman: shrysr: no; it was for reals: don't stop there. [17:28]
diana_coman: ahem, and you *still* stopped there; why? [17:35]
shrysr: slept after midnight... not making excuses, but there really was no time. Actually I wasn't planning to review it my dad but i'm glad i did, and then i had to prep a bit to realign my 'plan' to present. On top of everything the baseline is running very strong in my head. the ppt today was in between grilling and deep-fry..... mostly for the wrong reasons and wd have been MUCH worse if i had not toned down [17:35]
shrysr: my 'criticism' for existing practises. I wasnt surprised per se.... but i cant not feel disappointed at stupidity. However, despite all the misgivings i have - it was all well received and i got a 'good job' and clucks of false sympathy at the magnitude of my task spiced with frequent hints that it was actually awesome and needed but not needed. [17:35]
diana_coman: aham [17:36]
diana_coman: but do you realise that your "no time" and *all* of the above comes *already* after the deadline, right? [17:36]
shrysr: i do. [17:37]
diana_coman: there is no magical time-bag from where you can extract some more whenever convenient; you will always have time *only* for what you make time; and as such, you should always work with some error margin baked in, not hero-effort-at-last-minute sort of thing [17:38]
diana_coman: so then, still missing from all the above: your analysis of why your approach to planning failed + your conclusions as to what you'll change at it for next time [17:39]
diana_coman: shrysr! [17:58]
shrysr: fair enough. and point taken and certainly valid.. The issue was that I kept adding and modding the ppt by getting something done or testing something and it wd not end. THere were also some major updates to the work end of last week which changed a lot of the ppt. I should have set a clear point to stop... actually i had a clear scope in mind starting out and actually had the ppt ready some time back - [17:58]
shrysr: but keept adding to it... there was a fear or maybe part realisation that if I did not show the benefits (i.e not state, but show) - the project cd be easily shelved, and then what? Complete loss of control of my time in salt mine. I found today the fear was not entirely unfounded btw. Going deeper - it shd have been 'relatively' painless to pull together a bunch of tasks - but i thought - my tasks and [17:58]
shrysr: priorities and the time straddling need a major review connected to baseline + related issues of subsistence. I did not have the bandwidth to deal with it effectively and gave up. [17:58]
diana_coman: uhm, how come each time your replies come through only when I ping you? is your setup weird again or what? [17:58]
shrysr: well i just keep typing and dont hit enter..... because i go back and forth changing what i write untill i am satisfied it is a reasonably accurate representation of the shit in my head... what i actually want to say... and so the next line doesnt invalidate the previous. [18:01]
shrysr: i shd have stuck to ERC.... its fast to move the cursor in all the directions..... right now it appears only fwd and back.... unless theres some setting. [18:02]
shrysr: brb 10 min [18:02]
diana_coman: shrysr: on one hand there's the ppt/other work that got out of hand (and that needs indeed addressing too, sure) but on the other hand there was ALSO no time specifically allocated for the review+tasks + the *silent* "give up" which is just not an option *ever*; [18:05]
diana_coman: you may come in here and say what and where and why you are stuck /out of bandwidth for now/struggling with/ failing at [18:07]
diana_coman: but what you may *not* do is simply keep silent! [18:07]
diana_coman: and at the very least the above may simply go into the review and the task list simply flows from it and that is what it is [18:08]
diana_coman: linking also to http://ossasepia.com/2020/04/19/ossasepia-logs-for-25-Aug-2019#1000533 and just in case my http://ossasepia.com/2020/04/19/ossasepia-logs-for-25-Aug-2019#1000536 wasn't clear enough, understand this: the failure mode is when you do not engage/keep silent/do not expose whatever problems/troubles you might have; it's never nor can it be the problems/defects themselves! [18:14]
ossabot: Logged on 2019-08-25 17:55:45 shrysr_: no, I guess not. that it happened still feels surreal at times with some doubt if i am good enough to be worthy of it. [18:14]
ossabot: Logged on 2019-08-25 17:59:10 diana_coman: shrysr_: focus on doing the best work you are able to and don't worry about that sort of evaluation - that's my call and therefore not your worry anymore. [18:14]
shrysr: ok [18:19]
diana_coman: so I do hope I won't have to keep pinging you otherwise on all sorts all that much, ok? [18:20]
shrysr: ok.. i wd not want you to do so. so far - i see that my focus has to be in 3 directions. 1. salt-mine work (wherein some is related to future stepping out) 2. getting out of here, i.e data science / analytics stuff 3. tmsr. My assessment is that (2) is the most important. For many reasons. The simple fact is that i am 31 and can't save much on what i make, and there is dim hope of that increasing [18:45]
shrysr: here..similar salt mine (if struck) I make a little more but I need to solve this shit properly with a change in field for the long term. let that be data science fwiw. (1) cannot be ignored. whether are ppl are salivating for this to work 'right now' or not - i wd become the asshole i hate if I 'left' things hanging by 'playing games'. being a new d00d in this country - i may need their references, as [18:45]
shrysr: much as I wd hate to use it. In typical salt mines - ppl kiss and make up and there is maturity. I cant rely on that normal here based on what i've seen. (3) the relatively new addition - i'm fond of. However, the 'failure' was in deciding whether I am really capable of attacking all 3. The fact is (2) requires massive effort both in learning - and in getting across to people and opportunities... the [18:45]
shrysr: latter has been a colorful merry go round of emotions in my experience dealing with which is a time sink by itself. Failure to decide whather it makes more sense to stick with 1 and 2 and get back to (3) when (2) is done, and to Do (2) differently - i.e target nearest company and specific profile and not only the 'knowledge'/'truth' ..... the truth is that even 'best' fullstop - is draining. Its hard to [18:45]
shrysr: 'accept' i'm done. [18:45]
diana_coman: shrysr: why do you see 1,2,3 as such separated items? if you insist on going in 3 directions at the same time, ofc it's quite impossible; the root trouble there is still... aiming for purposes and ignoring causes really. [18:52]
shrysr: separated in terms of time and tasks ? [18:53]
diana_coman: the main trouble is when you try to separate yourself as it were, that's where it all breaks down really [18:55]
diana_coman: at the limit you can always split a day or a week in three chunks but it's not that the real trouble no matter how it might seem [18:56]
diana_coman: http://ossasepia.com/2020/04/20/ossasepia-logs-for-03-Sep-2019#1001087 - that stick + get back is unlikely to "make sense" + there are already quite a few examples of people who tried that and never came back [18:57]
ossabot: Logged on 2019-09-03 18:45:54 shrysr: latter has been a colorful merry go round of emotions in my experience dealing with which is a time sink by itself. Failure to decide whather it makes more sense to stick with 1 and 2 and get back to (3) when (2) is done, and to Do (2) differently - i.e target nearest company and specific profile and not only the 'knowledge'/'truth' ..... the truth is that even 'best' fullstop - is draining. Its hard to [18:57]
diana_coman: the draining + hard re "done" is most likely because your "done" is not measurable at any point so it drifts [18:59]
diana_coman: shrysr: try focusing for once on causes and extracting from there "what to do next" rather than fitting "what to do " to some purpose [19:00]
diana_coman: shrysr: why is 3 anyway not at all related to "getting out of here" or how do you see it? [19:03]
diana_coman: re saving: pretty much the only saving currently possible is in btc anyway so "saving" in CAD/USD or whatever other papers that they keep printing whenever convenient (for them) is just getting fleeced. [19:05]
diana_coman: so if you want to save, simply buy any bitcents you can and keep your key+wallet safe, that's pretty much it; and ftr if "no money for any bitcents", your best bet is probably playing eulora anyway. [19:07]
BingoBoingo: As much as there's been laughing at the Peso Argentino lately, the only major difference between pesos and dollars is the speed at which they happen to be falling. [19:09]
diana_coman: shrysr: I'm not even sure though how come you can't save given that your salary didn't sound *that* terribly small and you live alone and don't seem otherwise to splash on anything (certainly not food, nor travel nor housing so then..what?) [19:09]
diana_coman: granted, I have no idea re tax regime in canada or even prices where you are so it's a genuine question here: how come or why exactly can't you save? [19:10]
shrysr: yes absolutely - (2) is reduce the separation in myself and end the fucking nuisance of career pivots that I've done. (2) is not purpose, it is after all subsistence. C'mon - I live in a fucking motel room.... my savings would be wiped with one major expense and I save like a fucking sparrow building its nest, and yet spend freely on 'courses' and books or whatever to learn. GUys my age have a social life, [19:14]
shrysr: a wife, and 2 dogs - while I don't want any of that and maybe never cared since my time in UK - i am fucking 'poor', and that I cant tolerate, and I owe it to my parents to do well if not for self destructive pot craving self. and the stuff in (1) i see the parts you consider purpose and admit it is 'in the future' - you have to see that its not an impractical consideration - and is based on current [19:14]
shrysr: conditions! I'm saying I cannot BURN that bridge by ignoring (1), as I kind of came close to. You have to see what i see to - because I myself dont believe it sometimes w.r.t super extra volatility. What I do now - leads to something in the future ... i hate these mofos but i work because I have to produce my best, and know that at some point - i will look back - and I believe I would view it as a mistake. [19:14]
shrysr: I [19:14]
shrysr: dont want to not get a job because i cdnt get a reference, bc i burned a bridge. God knows how it really works in this country--- i spent a fucking year jobless !!! [19:14]
diana_coman: shrysr: simmer down, there's nowhere I said you shouldn't do the work at your job, at all. [19:15]
shrysr: Re (3) : i don't yet see how it is a way out - your explanation gives me hints -- but even if it was not --- i believe it will take me more time and hence (2) [19:16]
shrysr: (3) - is ALL i wanna do when I dont do salt-mine shit. (2) is for (3) [19:20]
diana_coman: shrysr: what will you do if 1. you don't get a "data analyst" job in ...how much, even? 1 year? 2years? 10 years? 2. you get a "data analyst" job and it turns out to be for some mofos even worse than those + no energy left at the end of the day for any other intellectual work? [19:20]
diana_coman: let me cite for you from someone else's direct experience, here: http://logs.ossasepia.com/log/trilema/2019-05-30#1916225 [19:20]
ossabot: Logged on 2019-05-30 09:30:27 ave1: http://btcbase.org/log/2019-05-01#1910413, not dead, to get up to speed I let my new job take over my life [19:20]
diana_coman: http://logs.ossasepia.com/log/trilema/2019-05-30#1916227 [19:21]
ossabot: Logged on 2019-05-30 09:31:06 ave1: and then the bridge between the insane world and sane trilema became harder and harder to cross [19:21]
diana_coman: shrysr: ok, let's put it the other way around: *what* do you think you need first, before you can "(3) - is ALL i wanna do" ? [19:23]
diana_coman: and go for actual things, not "a data analyst job" [19:23]
diana_coman: take your time on that if you need to. [19:28]
shrysr: Fair point, Re your (1) above - this is where the 'revised' strategy comes into the picture..... of not learning for knowledge - but to Explicitly and Only target what they wanna hear till (2) is done. Increase the chances by targeting the nearest companies (1 hr drive away) rather than the 'highly desired AI hotbed' Toronto which is a 4 hour flight. The evidence says - data science is filled Mostly with [19:30]
shrysr: guys who are NOT from comp sci /stats etc desired unicorn backgrounds. THere is NO reason I can't make it - because I see dumb fucks every other day who have never even used Linux in their life work as 'Lead Data Scientists' or whatever. My assessment is that if I do the above strategy -without deviating to the pursuit of 'deep knowledge' - it shd not be infeasible to be ready in 3-6 months - just in time [19:30]
shrysr: for the time when ppl wake up after their so called new year hiring 'freeze'/lethargy/holiday spirit whatever. I have an answer for (2) as well - but i gotta leave the office or will be locked in. brb in 15 min. [19:30]
diana_coman: k [19:32]
diana_coman: will read tomorrow. [19:48]
shrysr: re: mofos @ new job. I've gathered enough wisdom as well as knowledge to understand that mofos are everywhere. My (2) is not being thought of as a switch to paradise. It seems to be the typical 'nature' of doing business and obsessions with ROI at any cost - which is what it is. But i've also learnt - there is something like 'lesser evil'. The assessment is that - it cannot get worse!! fwiw - i hated [20:20]
shrysr: prevous mines - but it was never this retarded /crazy. Believe me - i have tried to reconcile to 'a pleasant somewhat financially constrained life' in the village... there are great benefits here too ( this was long before i popped up here). The fact of the matter is - while you have to typically be subservient or 'diplomatic' to varying degrees in all salt-mines and no employee is not expendable anywhere [20:20]
shrysr: - but there is a much better base of dignity, and smthing abt being able to 'argue' or impose /order without personal insults. It's largely absent @ current mine. Can you imagine a *typical* convo where - you will be insulted for your idea (and any minor display of intelligence or factual knowledge), will receive Mild praise that your idea is awesome and very necessary, and then insulted again - by way of [20:20]
shrysr: stating that this was done a long time back in a 'different' (actually stupid / inefficient) way, and then get fucked for being brown skinned, and then fucked a little more for 'wasting time explaining wtf you do', because wtf you do is surely saving time and money - but is not exactly an ATM spewing cash as you talk! There are worse examples - but i won't bore you further abt the absolute dregs of [20:20]
shrysr: humanity - who nevertheless own half+ of said village. [20:20]
shrysr: All the above being said - many of these characteristics are not atypical of 'ownership' companies. There is a certain power in being able to directly deal with the owner - and it comes with needing to deal with volatility and an extra thick layer of servility, skin etc. Perhaps a meteoric rise and similar if not faster fall from grace for flimsy (crazy) reasons. However, there are some who - are not worth [20:33]
shrysr: any dance... (this I've learnt recently). [20:33]
shrysr: ima need to think about 'what things' ... /me makes mental note that silence is to be avoided if stuck/still vague etc. [20:35]